Another Adjective For Abercrombie

“Interesting” is a terrible way to describe food. It’s a basically a positive spin on “weird.” Or we use it when our brain is having a hard time coming up with an adjective that doesn’t make someone feel bad. I feel like we say “interesting” when we don’t like something, but someone is invested in our reaction. Like if they made the dish, or if they just took us to a place that they said was amazing. Most people “Interesting”-answer-givers will look down, kinda frown, and nodd their head like they’re following along in a conversation that they don’t totally understand. You’re not studying string theory…it’s a freakin pasta dish.

Person A: (Takes a bite)
Person B: “…Soooooo…what do you think?”
Person A: “It’s…it’s really interesting”

I’m guilty of the above, so I can hardly say that I haven’t impersonated a perplexed physicist.

I guess that’s better than saying “I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.” This is like a Justifies-My-Asshole-Statement card. For example:

“She seems like she’s somewhat smart, but really, she’s just kind of useless. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth, there’s just no use for her.”

I’m confused here. The words you are saying do not match your tone, so I’m having a hard time believing you’re actually sorry.

This week, I asked an executive’s assistant if she could find time on her boss’s calendar and set up a meeting so that a few people could walk him through an important conversation. She responded by telling me that he doesn’t like organizing meetings he’s not leading, so I could just send an invite and she would accept if he was available.

Listen, lady. I could be way off with this assumption, but I’m pretty sure you organize his schedule and his meetings. I’m sorry…did I inconvenience you by asking you to perform a duty that’s in your job description? No, no…it’s alright. I guess I’ll just do your job for you and you can just hit the “accept” button. And yes, I will absolutely let you know if I need anything in the future.

I’m guilty of using a “sorry” and not meaning it, so I can hardly say that I haven’t acted like a tone-deaf apologizer.

I’m fully aware that the complaint above is a huge example of a first world problem, and it sounds very douchey. But saying douchey things does not necessarily make you a douche.

I’m pretty sure that I was a little douchey in college. I owned a pink polo and often “matched” it with board shorts. That’s like an Abercrombie-cologne-spray away from being the poster child for douchery. I once gave a speech in my public speaking class about “How You Can Get a Date.” It was as awkward as it sounds. Everyone knows that it’s stupid. Apparently, 20-year-old me thought it was a good idea. And everyone who knows me knows how inappropriate it was that I was trying to pull off that speech.

In my Marketing class, I once said I didn’t believe in a presentation because I thought the group was appealing to the wrong market. I said that…to a group of my peers…in response to their presentation. Ain’t nobody wanna hear that shit during a MARKETING CLASS GROUP presentation. Might as well have told the teacher that she forgot to give us homework during Spring Break. In retrospect, I approached the border of Doucheland and straddled it like I was sitting backwards on a chair. However, I’d like to think that I’ve grown out of that, and I’m definitely grateful that I didn’t lose anyone that I cared about during that time.

Everyone has a moment (or moments) of inflated ego. Mine just happened to be during my early 20s. And I’m hoping that time has passed.

There’s usually a lesson or realization tucked away in these posts, so I guess…say what you mean and don’t be a douche? I have no idea.

Regardless, thanks for reading.

– The Interesting Speech Marketer


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