Connects My Nets

Unless something drastically happens in the next month, I’m pretty sure the next couple of posts will be about people that drive me crazy.  So this is your warning.  If you don’t like reading about what I have to say about people who bug me, then stop reading for like…ever.

I’m sorry, that came out really bad.  I sincerely appreciate everyone that takes time to read some random thoughts that I put to electronic paper.

I’m in the business of “connecting.”  I am in charge of social media platforms and try to “connect” with people.  I know it’s very important, but “connecting” and “networking” are two popular buzzwords that annoy the hell out of me.  What does it really mean to “connect” with someone?  There are conventions where you can connect with people in order to expand your network.  And to me that seems like a bunch of people just trying to talk about themselves.  They don’t want to know who I am.  They want to know that I know who they are.  They want to know what I do and what I can do for them.  Some people talk the talk and some people walk the walk, but some people do an awfully good job at not meaning it.

I hate when people are with me physically, but not mentally.  Like when someone is texting continuously in front of a group of people or friends.  This bugs the shit out of me.  You should always spend time with the people who wanted you to be there more than the people you’re not even with.  You’ll always remember experiences, not text messages.  You can look through someone’s honeymoon pictures on Facebook and talk about how fat they look when you get home.

I can’t complain though.  I love social media to a point.  It gives insight to what people really think and it’s fun to leave dumb comments on pages.  But it takes some people away from actual events that are happening right in front of them.  Like this new app for Facebook called Shaker.  I’m embedding the video so you can see what it is.  Please take 3 1/2 minutes of your life that will never get back to watch this video.

Alright, wtf is that.  First off, this has to be the most ambiguous sexual orientation anecdote I’ve ever seen.  I can’t tell if Adam is gay or not, and I’ll be damned if you can either.  I’ve never heard a guy say “hot date” like that and be talking about a girl.  And why are 3 dudes biting a cheeseburger together?  This is why God invented sliders: so you don’t all have to share the same food that a kid gets regularly in a happy meal, you freakin hyena.

And you can’t have an punch-in-the-face epiphany twice in the same story.  It lessens the effect of the…effect?  Anyways, the reason why this thing was created was to make a social experience similar to a night of going out.  Only now, you don’t have to actually go out.  You can just sit in front of your computer and awkwardly talk to strangers with the convenience of not only seeing who they have in common, but to see if they have any honeymoon pictures.  All of the sudden, phrases like

“Holy crap, last night was ridiculous.  And now I’m paying for it with this hangover.  At least I got that girl’s number.  Let’s go get some fast food.”

will now be replaced with phrases like

“Holy crap, I had the best time on Shaker last night.  And now my hands hurt from typing so much.  That girl and I might FB chat later.  Let’s go get some fast food.”

Maybe I’m just a giant hypocrite because I am writing this instead of telling you face to face and I text girls instead of calling them.  Either way, now I’m hungry because of all these stupid food references.  I guess I’ll play Cafe World…

Thanks for reading.

– Le Social Ombaregar

hirachi

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