I’m still waiting for my fashion sense to become fashionable. I’m athletic, but I missed the lesson on color-coordination.
For me, the plainer the better. I don’t think I’ve ever bought anything designer. In fact, I can’t remember the last article of clothing that I physically purchased. I get new clothes from friends, family, a girlfriend, or a basketball tournament. And unless I have to look nice for an event, I dress like a 10-year-old. I don’t really care what I look like, which probably dramatically affects my chances of girls talking to me at bars. I mean, I’m not exactly gonna get winks and drinks, but I guess I’m going for laughs and…crap what rhymes with laughs that applicable to this situation? Giraffes? Forget it…
I realized that when my hair gets long, I don’t use paper towels. I just “style” my hair with semi wet/soapy hands.
Speaking of going out to bars, every Wednesday night I go to a local bar and have drinks with my friends. Wine is half off there, so they call it Wine Wednesday. And I usually always go with the same crew. So right around 4:30 every Wednesday, my friend sends me a text that says “Wine Wednesday?” And every week, I tell him, “I’m in.” This last time, he responded with “Cool, Garth’s mom is in town.” So naturally, my response was, “is she single?”
His girlfriend then proceeded to call me a creep. But I believe that it’s only creepy if there’s an action behind the words. It’d be creepy if I said “hey, I saw you buying milk yesterday at the grocery store a 3:49pm. You were early by 23 minutes. Everything ok?” The only way that is creepy is if I kept some sort of stalker logbook and actually knew that. Either that or I just noticed that my Facebook Stalker…I mean Ticker…just told me you checked in at Trader Joes.
Speaking of watching media, I have a love/hate relationship with YouTube. It’s a huge time-eater, and I love it. Screw you, YouTube. I was supposed to be researching something for work. 2 1/2 hours and 87 cat videos later, I have nothing accomplished and my rationality is, “O well, it’ll take care of itself…”
I spend a lot of time watching Hulu as well. I don’t have cable, so I end up watching a lot of shows with that convenient little service. But they implemented this new feature that auto plays a new, “related” video 7 seconds after the video you watched has finished. And I hate it. Talk about having freakin anxiety. I always watch it while I’m making breakfast and have to hurriedly throw down a spatula and wipe my hands to change it before it plays an episode of “In The Middle.”
This last weekend, I had a couple of setbacks. I was an idiot and left my debit card INSIDE of the ATM. I had to pay $1200 to fix my car because my timing belt snapped. But I also spent a lot of time getting to know some really good people. It bothers me when people get out of relationships and say, “I hate it, because now I have to start all over again and go through that whole process of getting to know someone new.” When has the process of getting to know someone ever been a bad thing? The pain of seeing so much money leave my bank account doesn’t compare to the pain in my stomach from laughing so hard. The only time I cried this weekend is from laughing. So maybe it wasn’t such a bad weekend after all.
Monday I found out that the ATM didn’t eat my card, but someone actually ejected it and turned it into the bank. There are good people out there, you just have to be willing to put in the time to get to know where they all are.
Thank you, new friends and strangers. You made my weekend.
Thanks for reading.
– The Fashion Police