Next Time You See Me, Holla Like You Know Me

Is it just me, or am I the only one that notices a weird trend between guys who have/do extremely nerdy things and have ponytails.  Fushigi, devil sticks,(does his name really have to be Kevin…) Weird martial arts.

Everyone has a weird secret/guilty pleasure.  I think for guys, there are a lot more guilty pleasures to be had than for girls.  Guys can like weird things like Brittany Spears and Cougartown.  But for girls it’s a little harder.  It’s more widely acceptable for them to like weird things like that.  But honestly…how is Cougartown still on TV…

Growing up has been weird.  I feel like I’ve changed a lot since I was 18.  Or even from a couple of years ago.  I’m getting to that point where I’m the old guy at the party.  I start bringing a half bottle of whatever or like…a 10 pack because I drank 2 beers before I decided to go.  I used to be a part of that crew that was like, “Who is that old guy at the party?”  I guess it’s part of the aging process.  And now I’m old for the young party scene and acting like I’m younger than all of them with my half bottle encouraging everyone to take shots.

I’m think I’m slowly becoming the person I’ve been working towards…becoming?  How profound…

But I wonder if I have become overly accepting of the fact that I can’t change things.  Is it just an excuse?  Or is it more of a necessary realization?  I’m nervous that the determination to strive for something will by stymied by the saying, “Que Sera.”

I’ve been struggling between forcing myself to do something or doing it because that’s what I really want to do.  Like being nice all the time.  I know you can’t be nice all the time, but I wonder if sometimes I don’t do those things because deep down inside, I don’t really want to be nice.  But as long as it gets done or helps someone, then does it really matter?  For instance, if I’m walking and about to pass someone in the street, and it’s basically only us two, I typically like to at least acknowledge them.  Whether it’s a smile and a nod or a “hi” or something.  It’s always nice to be acknowledged.  But sometimes, I really don’t give a shit.  And I wonder if I’m forcing myself to say hi, or if saying hi is part of who I am and just taking the day off.

Dumbass internal struggles…

The difference between being nice and inconsiderate is often patience.  Everything nice takes more time.  Picking up your napkin after you try to throw it away and you miss.  Putting away carts in a grocery store.  Occasionally I’ll get emails from my grandma that always have heartfelt, endearing words of motivation and encouragement.  One that she uses a lot is “when the situation arises, do the right thing.”  So that’s what I’ve tried to do.  I’m just hoping I’ve done it because it’s what I want to do and not what I SHOULD do.

But Grandma knows best.  Thanks for reading.

– The Old Man and his Guilty Pleasures

hirachi

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