I missed a week of writing and a lot of things have happened. I went up to Tahoe to play in an Asian basketball tournament with my cousin from Canada and a couple of other friends (this is not a weird sentence if you know me). I spent 7 hours driving up there by myself and it was a good mini vacation that forced me to spend time thinking about things. But that usually leads to weird thoughts and a lot of inside jokes that I’m the only one laughing at. I can’t tell if they’re actually funny, or if it’s funny because I’m laughing by myself. At least one of us thinks it’s funny…
But long drives aren’t just about singing loudly and laughs. Mixed in was frustration and me personally asking myself, “Are we there yet.” You get stuck behind crappy drivers that seem like they are literally asking me to hit them with my car. I think I get the most angry with people when I’m behind a steering wheel. There was a point when I was literally yelling at someone who obviously couldn’t hear me at all. At one point, I forced myself to accept it. This is just a person that is a crappy driver. And what if they’re an old person? Then I thought about how many people get mad at my grandma when she’s driving somewhere. It’s not her fault she’s driving 60mph on the freeway just to go to the grocery store to pick up food to feed herself. She’s doing her best to keep up and that’s all you can ask. So I pretended I was following my grandma and I forgave their poor driving behavior. Then I passed them and saw it was a middle-aged white guy talking on his cell phone. He’s no longer an equivalent to my 88-year-old grandma; he’s just an asshole.
I also learned that my desire to be economical is strong than my desire to be comfortable. I wanted to maximize my fuel efficiency, and it came at the price of not turning up the A/C to a higher level. So I literally “sweated” it out and sucked it up to make sure I got the most bang for my buck. But I kept thinking that Hell must be some weird situation where you’re trapped in a 5×5 room that’s like 104 degrees surrounded by 30 very vocal, flea-ridden cats listening to Lil Wayne sing. Seriously…if you don’t sound good when you’re auto-tuned, you shouldn’t be singing on the radio. Lil Wayne has a responsibility to make something that’s not absolutely terrible because he knows it will be on the radio. It’s a unfair to make us listen to that crap. For shame…
I was also able to see some good friends get married. I’ve been to 2 weddings in 3 weeks, and it’s been great. Not only do you get to see a person that you love commit their entire life to the honest dedication to another human being through thick and thin, rich or poor, sickness and health and all that other crap, but you get to see old faces and pick up like no time was lost at all. 5 minutes of catching up and then it’s back to old times. It’s a good lesson in what love really is. And this is what I learned:
- Love is hearing someone’s name and immediately smiling.
- The amount of love you have for someone is often confirmed when you share a moment when they realize they feel the same way.
- Any attempt at a verbal explanation or physical action is a frustrating failure to truly express your feelings. There are no words that can adequately explain the emotion that you have. No hug is big enough and no kiss is long enough. Even if they say they understand, you feel like they really could never really know. And that’s how it should be: indescribable.
If you’re reading this, there’s probably an experience that we shared that has etched place in my heart for you. And if I don’t know you at all, then…I probably sound like Lil Wayne.
Thanks for reading
– The Auto-tuned Asian