Have you ever used something battery-powered, realized the batteries were dying, and made a mental note that you should probably switch them out? And then use it like 8 more times, telling yourself the exact same thing every time? I have an electric can opener that is dying right now, and I keep saying, “Buy new batteries because this is going to end with a half-opened can and a lot of cursing.” But the next time I need to open a can, I just use it again. Last week, I felt like my batteries were dying, and I was going to write this big huge post about how I was all mopey. Moppy? No…I think it’s mopey.
Anyways, here’s a revised version of what I was going to write.
My love for life, well, it seems like I’ve lost it.
An internal flame seems to have been exhausted.
I’ve betrayed what I stand for in a personal treason
Left yelling by myself at no one for no reason.
Because I preach about love and personal happiness
But I’ve lost myself under self-inflicted crappiness
I feel the anger welling at the stupidest things
With the hatred and defeat that stupidness brings.
An emotional fight
With questions like:
Could it be that I’m living a dream that was never even mine?
Could it be that I’ve just accepted it as it’s unraveled over time?
Could it be that I’m just the person people want me to be?
Putting on reruns that they’ve expected to see?
I’ve always found the positive amidst the death-defying
But I feel that, for once, I’ve missed the silver lining.
Will it be that I’ll be stronger once everything is over?
How come that’s so hard to see unless I’m not sober?
Could it be that my hopes are just misconstrued reality?
An unattainable goal that will be my fatality?
But then I visit a family that reaffirms my worth
And realize they’ve continually provided life after birth
I visit friends that are happy just because I’m with them
And realize I’m victorious when I thought I was a victim.
I’ve realized my goals are not out of reach
And these hardships are worthless unless they teach
God has blessed me in so many ways
That to count them would be a waste of my days.
Now I’m filled with calling so strong I can’t ignore it:
To find something worth dying for, and then living for it.
Thanks for reading.
– The Can Opener