Meg Whitman’s Double Down

I’ve been doing a lot of traveling lately.  Two weeks ago, I traveled into the unknown and graduated, but it took me a week to get back to reality.  I made a lot of pit stops into lazy town, relax city, and of course, alcoholsville.  I think I forgot my liver in alcholsville, and definitely forgot everything I learned over the past 2 years.  O well; at least that stuff is replaceable.

A strong start out of the gate as always.

Taking the past 2 weeks off from writing has given me a lot of time to think about stuff.  The dam of ideas is about to burst with a tidal wave of randomness.

The smell of new clothes that haven’t been washed yet always reminds me of Christmas.  It never fails.  I don’t know how to describe the smell exactly.  It’s like a mixture of the actual store it was bought from, the box, and the fresh, new material.  It reminds of ripping off the wrapping followed by a sense of semi-disappointment because it wasn’t a really cool toy, but then immediately trying it on and smiling to make sure my mom knew I was ok with it even if I wasn’t.

Is anyone else tired of hearing the word epic?  “You should really come out to the party tonight.  It’s gonna be EPIC!” Yea…it’s probably not.  15 dudes and 3 girls later, this party is suddenly looking like an Sausagefest 2010.  “That burrito was epic!” “I just took an epic dump.”  “The Odyssey was an epic epic.”  Epic is like Ricky Martin…it had it’s time and we thought it was cool, but now it’s time to move on to something a little more…relevant.

Wtf is KFC trying to do with their marketing campaign?  I feel like they have new strategies every time I see different

commercials.  First they were trying to show everyone they were “healthy” by grilling their chicken.  Then they embraced the fact that they had created probably the most unhealthy concoction and said it was made for manly men.  Then they had a breast cancer awareness program if you buy a bucket of chicken.  And now, KFC is so S-O…G-double-O-D gooood.  I guess it’s not as bad as the new State Farm guy.  He talks way to much and he just looks shady.  Shady like Meg-Whitman-shady.  She just doesn’t have a trustworthy face.  Honestly, if I had plans and Meg Whitman was the only person that was available to babysit my kids, then it looks like I’m having a night-in with my children and Buzz Lightyear.  Not a chance, Meg…not on my watch

I was watching Dennis Miller do stand up yesterday and he asked “Is there some kind of occupational lottery that happens for trained dogs to decide who becomes a drug dog or a bomb dog?  That’s got to be a day filled with mixed emotions…

So what’d you get, Toby?
Shit…bombs”

That’s all for now.  I have more, but if I use it all now, the dam will be empty for next weekend.  And nobody likes a dry damn.

Thanks for reading

– Toby

hirachi

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