Are you aware that there are expiration dates on liquid soap and Pam? Does Pam really go bad? I’m pretty sure no one has used old Pam and had an upset stomach the next day. “Are you feeling ok?” “I’ll be ok. Just gotta buy some new Pam. And I don’t think my soap is properly disinfecting as well as it could be.” Dumb…
I wonder how many brain cells I have killed with all of the alcohol I’ve consumed. I wonder if I’m dumber than I could have been if I never tried alcohol. I guess I’ll never know and have to live with the fact that drunk me’s potential might be slightly lower than sober me’s potential. Then again, who lives up to their potential? I’m just under-performing like everyone else; at least I have an excuse.
I got my oil changed and noticed a 24-hour fitness across the street. Then I started to wonder what the ratio is of in-shape people vs out-of-shape people at a gym. And I wonder where you draw the line of in-shape and out-of-shape. If you’re 30 pounds over weight, but you can run a mile, does that mean you’re out-of-shape? Who defines “shape” and where or not you’re in it or out of it. It’s probably a combination of self assessment and public expectations. Well, screw you, public; I like Coronas and TV.
It might be a guy dominated world, but it’s definitely a girl driven environment. I live by one relationship rule: if the girl is happy, the relationship is happy. A guy is somehow in charge of everything, including everything from setting up important dates to initiating a conversation, then buying a girl a drink. So much risk. I wish it was proper etiquette to give a 5 minute status update of level of interest.
Gary is…interested. He’d like to take you out to dinner.
Sadie is…indifferent. She doesn’t think anything will really happen.
Thanks Sadie, enjoy your $12 drink, bitch…
A lot of guys who are jerks happen to know how to switch it back to a “me” dominated world. They’re like fisherman. They know how to catch all the good ones by dangling some kind of danger bait. Then when the girl gets hooked, the guy guts ’em and throws them back out into the ocean, confused, hurt and potentially scarred trying to figure out why they always take the trouble bait. It’s cuz you’re idiots, ladies. You think you know what you want, but it’s the guy you overlook that is often the one you need. Either quit chasing what’s not good for you or quit complaining haha. Move it along.
Let’s get super cereal for a second.
Every time you lose someone in your life, you try to think about how much they mean to you and how you should be happy that you had them in your life. But it’s important to mourn the loss of someone you love as well. This week, for maybe the first time in my life, I really mourned on behalf of someone. Losing someone suddenly and unexpectedly never seems fair. You never get one last chance to tell them what they really mean to you. But if they love you as much as you love them, then they already know exactly what you would say. That’s because they’d say the same thing back to you…
The harder it is to get over it, the stronger the love was. But you’ll get there; they’d want you to.
Thanks for reading
– F.U. Sadie