Reading Cosmo and Watching Caesar

I don’t understand women magazines like Cosmo.  On the front of a magazine that I just saw, one of the articles was “what colors drive a man crazy.”  What?  Is that really information that women want to know about guys?  Like there is some secret formula into getting a guy to like you.  Believe me…from the male point of view, the game is played the opposite way.  Men are not like a rubik’s cube.  They’re more like…a 20-piece puzzle made for a first grader.  If you put in the time, you can figure it out pretty quick.  Women are like like a 5000+ piece puzzle where 2/3rds of the picture is of sky so every freakin blue piece looks the same.  That’s why it takes so long for guys to figure girls out: just when you think you’ve put together good chunks of the puzzle, you can’t find the pieces that bring it all together.  And sometimes the picture changes completely.

There is a thin line between persistence and annoyance.  There is also an equally thin and often intertwined line between giving up and moving on.  And whether you’re on the one side of the line or not typically depends on attitude, action, and maturity.

I wonder if the circus is hiring for tightrope walkers…

I recently text messaged “haiti” to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross.  The $10 was just added to my phone bill so it was super easy.  This might be the first time I’ve ever donated money like this.  I usually never do, but for the first time ever, I thought, “You know what, if I was in that situation and a natural disaster happened and I had NOTHING left, I would hope that someone could donate a 10.  I’ve given $10 to a homeless guy before; I think I can give $10 to a whole freakin country.  I always preach giving, and I thought it was time to follow through.  And not to say that I have expendable cash, but what’s $10?  One cocktail?  It’s like I just bought Haiti a Captain and Coke.  Cheers guys and good luck.

I know a goal in life is to find a rewarding job that you love to do.  But honestly, that’s not how it always works out.  Sometimes, you need to work a crappy job for whatever reason, and there are a lot of crappy jobs out there.  I love the show Dirty Jobs hosted by Mike Rowe.  1) He’s hilarious and 2) he has a way of making ordinary people walk themselves right into comedy a comedic moment.  But no matter how crappy of a job I’ve seen people working, it always seems like they are trying to make the best out of it.  I went into a Little Caesar’s the other day and bought a pizza, but as soon as I walked into the door, I immediately heard everyone laughing.  It wasn’t at me, for all you concerned readers or assholes, depending on what you wanted the outcome of this story to be.  Whichever one you are, they weren’t laughing over something that happened to me.  I thought it was very important to address that issue quickly…

Anyways, Little Caesars employees are laughing.  I don’t know what they are laughing at, but they are all doing it.  And that’s when I realized that there are not many people who actually WANT to work at the LC.  But everyone wants to make the best out of their situation.  There will always be bitches and buttholes and incompetent turd heads, but there will always be cool people that are looking to make those hours pass quickly with a few laughs.  And that’s why being friendly and optimistic is so important.  You may not like your job, but a majority of the time, you’ll like some of the people you work with.  And those people will make that job seem just a little more tolerable.

Speaking of Caesars, I’ve been watching the Dog Whisperer with Caesar Milan.  It’s such a great show.  Not only does it teach you how to train your dogs, but it teaches you how to act in life.  He always preaches the same two traits: Calm and Assertive.  You have to act like the pack leader and even if you’re unsure of how the dog will react, you have to confidently let them know you’re the one in charge of the situation.

I don’t know if I’m walking the right way on that tight rope, but I’ll continue walking and be confident in my decision.  And 2010 will be dedicated to anything Caesar related: being calm and assertive and making the best out of any situation.

And some pizza.

Thanks for reading,  you 90999ers.

– Caesar’s Acrobat


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