Talking to Yourself Again?

“Hey G-string, get outta my butt.”  That’s what I said out loud in my car while I was driving today when a guy started tailgating me.  I looked in the rear view mirror, and said that out loud.  Like some how he was going to hear me.  Outloud?  Aloud?  Allowed?  Whatever…

I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the line, I learned how to be sarcastic.  And I don’t know if it’s good or bad.  But it can’t be good if I’m making sarcastic remarks to myself.

Is sarcasm bad?  I mean…it’s funny.  But is it bad to be sarcastic?  I think it might be bad if you’re mean all the time.  But sarcasm is pretty negative.  And most of the time it’s done to make fun of people.  It’s worse when people are REALLY sarcastic and it comes out mean rather than funny.  And then people get really offended when you don’t think it’s funny.  How are you gonna get offended when I think it’s mean?  Don’t use the excuse of sarcasm just to cover up your jerky behavior.  Maybe you’re just not that funny.  Ever think of that, Sam Sarcasm?

Has anyone ever looked at a dog and it starts wagging its tail and getting all excited?  Just cause you looked at it?  Seriously…A look?  Imagine how it must feel when you pet it haha.  Sometimes people get like that.  If someone likes you and you look at them, it’s almost insta-smile.  Unless you have some kind of weird relationship where you are in love but think showing teeth is a sign of weakness (that teeth statement is an obscure “The Office” reference that I remember Dwight saying.  If you caught that, you’re either a fan or a freak).  But imagine someone getting happy/excited every time they see you.  That’s gotta be a great feeling.  We all know how it feels to get excited when someone we like looks at us, but it’s different when we put the shoe on the other foot.

I seem to have a thing for old sayings.

As much as people can get excited when they look at you, they can also show no emotion at all, or even disgust.  Like cats.  Cats do that.  That’s why I’m not a cat person.  I’ve never seen a cat that was excited to see me.  Usually when I walk into a room with a cat, it runs away.  It must be my overwhelming animalistic manliness…

Or it could just be that cats are crappy and no one likes them.  That’s why they don’t like anyone back.  If my house was burning down, you think a cat would give a crap if I was still inside and needed help?  I’ve seen cats run away when the tv volume is too loud.  That’s the difference between cats and dogs.  Dogs are lovers and they care about you more than they care about themselves.  Cats are selfish and terrible.

If you’re a cat person, I apologize for making fun of something you love.  Then again, if you’re a cat person, then you’re probably not reading this in the first place.  Cause I don’t have friends that like cats.

I’m kidding.  I have cat friends.

There’s that sarcasm again…

Anyways, nothing important or insightful whatsoever in this one.  Just pure gibberish.  But thank you for reading anyways.

-Sam

hirachi

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