There’s not an easy way to start this, so I guess I’ll just get into it. Last week, I was taking a dump at work. Sometimes, nature calls and you just need to take that call wherever you are. I was busy playing a game of Solitare on my phone when the fifth most frightening thing happened when I was in the bathroom: the man in the stall next to me sneezed. It scared me so bad, I almost dropped my phone.
**Sidenote** The reason I say it’s the fifth most frightening thing that can happen is because I think there are scenarios ahead that which are much more scary:
4). The door isn’t locked all the way and someone walks in on you.
3). The door isn’t locked all the way and someone walks in on you wiping.
2). You run out of toilet paper.
1). Either an earthquake happens or there’s a fire drill.
There’s also this, but I consider that a freak incident.
Back to the story…
I was obviously startled. But it didn’t end there. Five seconds later, someone washing their hands says, “Bless you.” Personally, I think talking in public bathrooms to strangers is real weird. You’re already in a very private setting doing something very personal, and engaging some random dude in small talk is pretty much the last thing that I want to do. But the guy who sneezed didn’t say anything for a couple of second. So I…basically panicked…and just blurted out, “THANKS!” I intercepted a strangers random act of politeness because I felt bad. I have no idea what that says about any of us in that situation, but I figure I did the right thing by saying “Thank you” where thanks was warranted.
Anyways, back to something a little more serious.
A couple of days ago, my Facebook feed blew up with people posting this article titled “Marriage is not for me.” It’s a post about how a guy realizes that marriage is not about his needs, but about the woman and a future family. I think the article is cute, but like…The Notebook cute. And the reason I say this is because of this specific paragraph.
You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.
I’m not sure if everyone really critically thought about that specific paragraph or not. Personally, I want to marry someone that I really love because I’m a little selfish. I don’t want any other person to have the type of relationship that I have with that woman. They make me happy, add to my life, and make me better person. They’re the reason I’m considering marriage in the first place. If marriage is a life-long bond, then I want to make sure that I’m happy for the rest of my life. Not just doing some favor to someone because I think it’ll make them happy and they’d be a good baby-sitter for my kids. Marriage is not a gift that you give to show appreciation. To me, that paragraph says, “If you’re not sure, just go with a safe bet because it’s going to make the other person’s life better.”
The reason I compare it to The Notebook is because I think that story is a really jacked up, emotionally-charged-roller-coaster of a love story. This woman loves this man who she is about to marry, and on her wedding day, leaves him for a former lover that she hasn’t seen in a really long time. Can you imagine what that story would be like if it was told from the fiance’s perspective? You’re a great person with a great family, and on the day of your wedding, your future wife runs off with a summer fling she had several years ago.
Realistically, you shouldn’t marry someone because it will make someone else happy. This sentence was written by someone who has never been in a detrimental relationship. There are instances where you may be the best thing in a person’s life. It’ll make that other person happy, and may make some members of the family happy, but you have to realize what you’re getting yourself into. You have to look at what your life is going to be like for the next “x” years until you die, and your answer will be, “I did it for them.” If someone told me they married me because they knew it would make me happy, that would make me feel like I was a consolation prize. “You were the best bet, and I knew you would be happy if I said ‘Yes.'”
Thanks for reading.
– The Polite Police