The Sports Car Level

Inside the heart of little boys
There is an older man.
And he’ll grow up before you know
So be a kid while you can.

Cause one day that old man may come
Without a warning sign
And playing games and telling jokes
May not be on his mind.

So have fun now, and when that man
Finally comes one day,
Make sure that he does not forget
To invite the boy out to play.

I wrote like 5 years ago, and I’m just realizing now that it starts out semi-inapproriately…

I drive a 2005 Hyundai Sonata. Just some advice when buying a car: never take a test drive in the rain because you may buy a car that has a lot of problems that you end up blaming on the rain.

It looks like it’s seen it’s better days. I’m missing a hubcap, and parts have literally fallen off of my car. I’ve had to replace a light for every year that I’ve had the car. If I’m driving above 40 mph and I try to roll up my window, it doesn’t roll up all the way. Sometimes my trunk gets wet when it rains, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. I mean…obviously there’s a leak somewhere, but I can’t figure out where the leak is coming from. The damage is mostly cosmetic, but I’ve reached the point where I’ve put in as much money as the car was worth. A portion of that damage is from my own doing. I’ve pushed the car, and at times, neglected it.

I think the same happens to our bodies. I’ve been blessed with a physical ability that has allowed me to do athletic things, and I’ve been taking advantage of that since I was like 8. But you can’t abuse your body that long without paying for it. I’ve twisted and tweaked joints. I’ve fractured my nose. I’ve had a couple of surgeries, and some of my injuries have left scars. Something is wrong with my shoulder that makes it hard to sleep on my right side. I’m going to blame that shoulder injury on an unnecessarily rough Chinese massage, but that’s probably just an excuse.

I can’t say that the wear and tear is all from athletic things. My body has also been damaged by poor eating habits, alcohol and laziness. All of our organs have a shelf-life, and I’ve taken advantage of my organs starting at 100%. But my innards have taken a beating from the things that I put them through.

The problem is the mental struggle. It’s realizing that your brain is telling you to do something, but your body is not reacting the way that it once could. I can’t jump as high as I could. I can’t run as fast as I could and I can’t lift as much as I once did. There’s been a time in my life when I once squatted 350 pounds.

That portion isn’t really a mental struggle. If I saw 350 pounds now, I’d immediately say that I couldn’t do it haha.

But realistically, my glory days are over, even if those glory days were at a 2005 Hyundai Sonata level. I was never a sports car competing with other sports cars. I was a starting point guard at a high school of 300 people… I’m not going to hype it up like I was a big deal in any way. But in 2005, I was a brand new car that could keep up with other cars in my class.

The balance comes between understanding what I’m capable of now. I’ll never be able to compete at the same level I could as I was 18, but there are things I can do now that I couldn’t do then. I once said holding on to things is like holding on to ice cream. It’s a phase I’ve appreciated and enjoyed. I’ve realized that it was good while it lasted, but I need to realize my potential now. There are different things I excel at, and it’s more mental. But the mentality to improve should not go away. It’s not just realizing potential, but realizing full potential. Looking back at where I was and where I could be based on where I’m at now. I should try to improve where I’m at; both mentally and physically.

That’s about all I have for tonight.

Thanks for reading.

– The Raining Test Drive


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