When I was younger, I’m not sure if there was ever a better feeling than the swimming pool ritual. You come out of the pool and grab your towel and then lay it out on the hot ground. I eat my Doritos and squeeze every single drop of juice out of a Capri Sun. Dirty Dorito Fingers? No problem…just jump back into the pool.
Summer was awesome when I was a kid. But now that summer is pretty much done, I feel like it wasn’t that great. I’m looking much more forward to Fall and Winter. Which makes me wonder…do skiers ever wear ski masks? I’ve never heard of anyone buying a ski mask for the purpose of skiing.
I’ve realized that no matter how stupid a game is, you feel like you need to beat it if it’s ridiculously hard. The challenge outweighs the crappiness of the game. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say, “Yea the game is really stupid, but I’m just trying to beat it and I’ll be done with it.” If it’s so crappy, why do we keep playing? The desire to defeat something that’s frustrating is so great, it’ll drive us to do things we don’t necessarily think are even enjoyable haha. But it’s such a rewarding feeling to finally beat a game and say, “Eff you, Chronicles of Narnia for Wii…Eff youuuuuu…”
I realized most conversations are like a very, very friendly tennis match, softly hitting points back and forth. Most arguments are like a really intense game of racquet ball, slamming your point against the wall as hard as you can and hoping the other person misses it. But trying to be there for someone when they have a problem can’t be played like a regular “match”. You can sometimes help too much.
Listening is rock climbing. One person climbs and the other person spots them and gives them support. Listening is a process. You give them security and let them know you’re ready for them. Then person starts the climb and spill their guts. The way to keep them climbing is by encouraging them to keep going (aka, asking more questions) and they will keep moving forward to reach the top. Then once they finally reach the top, it’s up to you to help them down, and give your 2 cents. But you need to allow them to get there on their own before you try your version of advice.
Most people already know why they’re upset and how to fix it. The best help is allowing them to find those answers by themselves. The biggest relief will be knowing that they had a friend help them up and over the wall.
Thanks for helping me climb…
– Dirty Dorito Fingers