Watching Home Alone

I wonder if people on motorcycles go through drive thrus.  I wonder why you drive a car but then have to “ride” a motorcycle.  Like it’s some kinda ride or something at like Magic Mountain.  You ride Colossus or Riddlers’ Revenge.  That’s kinda like riding a motorcycle, right?  People ride sleds.  And horses.  Horses are like the old school motorcycle.

Christmas has officially hit me.  We just got a real Christmas tree at my apartment.  Like, a real one.  Where we went to a Christmas tree lot and picked one out a fluffy noble fir.  It was sixty freakin dollars.  But now that we set it all up, it’s totally worth it.  To me, it’s worth putting up the money to get back all those memories.  The tree smells fantastic.  And right now, I’m sitting by a fire and watching Home Alone.  But instead of watching it lying on my stomach eating popcorn and drinking a soda, I’m writing this sucker and drinking a beer.  Good movies never change.  The only thing that changes is the way we view them.

Things have changed a lot since we were little, especially movies and shows.  I remember when I was young, and the word “ass” was bleeped out.  What happened to the Home Alones and the Step by Steps?  They’ve been replaced by the iCarly’s and the Hannah Montanas.  What is our world coming to?  I’d rather idolize Michael Jackson’s best friend then some girl who is playing the two separate people but they’re actually the same person.  And who, in real life, gets caught in some kind of weird photo shoot scandal thing.  And who sings about partying in clubs in the USA.  Weird…

I hope Dakota Fanning doesn’t turn out kinda weird.  She has the potential to be a weirdo though…

I’m sure she’ll be fine.

If life was based off of third impressions, I think I’d have a lot more friends.  I can see how people might think I was boring the first time they met me.  I’m not super outgoing around strangers.  I smile/friendly, but I’m not really talkative or necessarily looking to spark up new conversations.  There are a lot of hidden idiosyncrasies in this hot man-oven, it just takes a while to reap the rewards of the baking process.  Some people are set on 500 so you get your result pretty quick.  And sometimes, it’s exactly what you thought it would be, which can be good and bad.  It’s the ones that are cookin in the 300s that are good.  You’ll look at it and think, meh, doesn’t look that great, so you close the oven.  You check it again, and it’s not done.  Check it one more time and it’s all done and you think, man, this is real good.  Sometimes you gotta wait, but they come out the best.  Like turkey.  Man those suckers are delicious.  Nuttin lock summa dat wh-aaaat meat.

I think it’s funny writing things out the way you pronounce them.

Man, how bad did you want to be Home Alone and set up all those cool little traps that he had set up?  It’s like the 3 Ninjas.  That movie was awesome.  Rocky loves…Em-il-ee, Rocky loves…Em-il-ee.

I hope you’re enjoying the calm before the storm that is the holidays.  Half of the good feeling of giving a gift is knowing that you’re done with the shopping.  And picking out that “perfect” gift for that special person.  And I hope you have a special someone you’re shopping for.

It wouldn’t be a proper post if there wasn’t some sort of dumb lovey thing in there.

Thanks for reading,

-Mr. Third Time Under The Mistletoe


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