Why Jogging Makes You Fat

You know what’s kinda funny?  When people try to be funny, but aren’t really.  Sometimes they try to do or say funny things and it just doesn’t make you laugh.  But sometimes, that’s kinda funny.  Like when someone messes up or tells a really crappy joke.  That’s kinda funny sometimes.  Or when one of the workers at your office prints out these sheets of paper trying to sell some magazines for his daughter’s school incorporating pictures of Dr. Phil and stuff about feeling guilty about starving kids in third world countries, and then putting a just kidding at the end.  Some jokes shouldn’t be dismissible just by slapping a “just kidding” to the end of it.  Anyways, that’s kinda funny….

I guess emphasis on the kinda…

Heavy emphasis…

And then a slight accent on the “ny”

This brings me to my next extremely useless point: Why jogging makes you fat.  I first heard this while I was hanging out at a friend’s house.  I overheard some people talking about food and they got onto salads.  And then two girls exchanged an apparent inside joke with one of them saying, “Yeah you don’t eat Salads because salads make you fat, right?”  The other girls responds, “Yeah, just like jogging.”  At this point, I had to ask about what they are talking about.  “Jogging makes you fat?” I asked.  “How?”  The girl then told me that jogging makes people fat because people think they are getting a better workout than they actually are.  In order to start burning fat, you need to keep your heart rate above a certain level for a certain period of time.  When you jog, your heart rate stays at a steady level, and many people think that they are burning fat and a lot of calories when they are actually not.  “Just like salads,” she continues.  “People eat salads thinking they are eating healthy and cutting calories, but they don’t think about the mounds of salad dressing they are coating the lettuce with.”  This I actually agree with.  Have you ever looked on the back of a Ranch dressing bottle and seen how many grams of fat are in 1 tablespoon of dressing?  Now extrapolate that number by how many tablespoons your pour on.  You’d be surprised to see how “healthy” your salad really is.  “So jogging doesn’t technically make you fat,” I respond.  “It’s just not as good of a workout as other intense cardio workouts.”  Ultimately, I get a confirming nod from this crazy idiot and then realize that she’s kinda funny because she was trying to be, but failed in the attempt.  Again, emphasis on the kinda.  Heck, just substitute the word funny for stupid and that’d probably work out better.

Kinda stupid.

Heavy emphasis on the stupid

Jogging does not make you fat.  Not jogging makes you fat.  Sitting on your butt makes you fat.  Salads don’t make you fat.  McDonald’s makes you fat.  Heck, even McDonald’s salads make you fat.  The best salad you can get at McDonalds is a side salad, with only 20 calories in it.  Conversely, a Southwest Salad with Grilled Chicken has 320 calories in it, 90 calories from fat, and 9 grams of total fat, equally 15% of your daily fat intake.  I guess that’s ok if you only have this as a meal.  But other salads are upwards of 25% of your daily fat intake.  The most shocking stats in these salads though are the amounts of sodium and sugar.  That’s right. Sugar.  The only thing in your McDonald’s salad that doesn’t have sugar in it are the butter garlic croutons.  And these numbers are all BEFORE the dressing is added.

Again, jogging and salads don’t make you fat.  It’s just a huge generalization leading this girl to think that she’s funny.  Witty would probably be a better adjective.  Attention grabber – Yes.  Valid point – Lacking.

I guess eating 2 McDonalds salads a day probably won’t be that bad for you.  But you could probably make your own salad and it’d be better for you.  Anways, back to exercise…

I’m reading this book called the Tao of Pooh.  It basically relates the religion of Taoism to the life of Winnie the Pooh.  The book is a little weird and sometimes hard to follow, but ultimately insightful.  There is one chapter about contrasting Rabbit’s lifestyle and outlook on life with Pooh’s outlook on life.  In the chapter, the author discusses an athletic person with Rabbit’s mentality.  “An athletic [Rabbit] is concerned with physical fitness, he says.  But for some reason, he sees it as something that has to be pounded in from the outside, rather than built up from the inside.  Therefore, he confuses exercise with work.  He works when he works, works when he exercises, and, more often than not, works when he plays.  Work, work, work.  All work and no play makes [Rabbit] a dull boy.”

I think I’m torn here.  Differentiating work and exercise.  When you excise, it’s generally considered “working” out.  I went to go “work-out.”  Can you really exercise without having it become “work?”  I’m not sure if you can.  I think the two almost go hand in hand.

Definition of Work: activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something.  Sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result

Definition of Exercise: to use repeatedly in order to strengthen or develop

Definitions brought to you by Merriam-Webster Dictionary dot com.  Making definitions available on the web since…who knows.

I guess ultimately, it comes down to mentality.  Whether you think it’s work or not.  The reason the author says the athletic rabbit is always “working” is because he thinks there is always work to be done, whether it be a task or for fun.  But sometimes you can work in order to have more fun.  Some people “work” on their jumpshot so when they exercise playing basketball, it’s more fun because they score more.  I don’t know a lot of athletes that don’t “work out” a little bit.  They want to have fun playing a sport and being in better shape enables that to happen.  But in order to be in good shape, you have to “work” at it.  HOWEVER, I think, like I said before, the big thing is mentality.  If you consider working out as “work” and not as fun, then I think you have the wrong attitude.  No game should be work.  That’s why they are called work.  Brett Favre (may his NFL career rest in peace) actually had a great statement regarding NFL players mentality to the game.  He said that NFL players should play for free on Sundays because they love the game so much.  The rest of the week they can get paid to practice, but on Sundays, it’s still a game.  And isn’t it ridiculous how those athletes get paid so much money to play a game?  Kobe Bryant will make more money in one season than some people will ever make in their lives.  And for what?  Because he’s good at a game?  He technically doesn’t contribute anything to society except for entertainment.  If there were no NBA, would the US have a breakdown?  Maybe.  We’re obsessed with sports.  But does he have to get paid that much to do it?  I’m sure he generates a lot of economic stimulation because of his talents, but is that worth paying him Millions and millions of Dollars?  I’m sure that’s more money than he really needs.

So what’s my point?  I guess it comes back down to mentality like half of the other posts I write and probably will write.  Don’t always work.  Don’t consider everything work.  Obviously there is work that you usually have to go to everyday.  But then everything outside of your actual job should be time for you and should be enjoyable.  Don’t look at “working out” as a chore and you do it because you have to.  Look at it as a challenge.  Make it enjoyable.  You shouldn’t go through your whole life “working.”  All work and no play makes [reader/insert your name here] a dull boy.

Let me know what you think.  If you’ve stayed and read this long, you’re a trooper and should be commended because I’m pretty sure my last couple of paragraphs is just poop in word form.  Emphasis on the poop…

– The Poo


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