When people start off a story with, “O, you’re gonna love this…”, I immediately think, “I’m going to hate this…”
Strap on in for a 5-minute story that could be summed up in 10 seconds, and that’s usually about something I don’t agree with or think is entertaining at all. I don’t mean to be an asshole, but if you think I would like your terrible story, you were mistaken. I understand that mistakes happen. But when they happen multiple times, that’s not a mistake; that’s a habit. And your habit is terrible haha.
I’ve talked about my love/hate relationship with social media before. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point, we thought we became so important that we feel the need to tell our group of friends and acquaintances minute and fairly boring details throughout the day. I look at my “social network” on Facebook and see I have a 350 friends. And then I think, “Shit, I don’t know over half of you guys. And none of you know me at all…”
I wonder how many people have a cooler Facebook profile than a real life.
Here are a few pet peeves that I know everyone cares about.
1). If you’re facebook post is more than 2 lines, I’m not reading it. My attention span is limited to sentences, pictures and videos. Get your novels outta here.
2). Stop checking into the gym. We get it…you go to the gym. Life called; it said you’re a better person than everyone else that doesn’t work out at the gym.
3). I hate statuses like this:
Dear Inanimate Object or Entity,
I feel this way about you.
Love, me
4). I hate Instagram, and it’s not because I don’t have an iPhone. It’s because everyone else has it and uses it. Why in the world do you think anyone wants to look at a retro, artsy photo of your dinner?
I don’t have a Facebook app for my phone. My 300 friends are not interesting enough to the point where I need an instant news update of things that are happening in their lives. I don’t need to know that you just spent the entire morning watching the Lord of the Rings series 17 seconds after you post it.
I hate seeing people on their phones during a date. There’s a person right in front of you, dummy. Talk to them. There’s plenty of time to make fun of how many chins Carrie has in that one picture. You don’t even talk to Carrie, so why are we talking about her now? It’s weird that most people I know have a “friend” on Facebook that they never talk to, but always look at all of their pictures.
We spend so much time on our phones communicating with people, but not actually hearing their voices.
I’m sorry if I stepped on any toes with this. It was a premeditated mistake, that’s all. I think I’m just frustrated with life, and it’s evident since this first post of 2012 came about 2 weeks late, and came out so negative and debby downer-esque. I am fully aware that I have the power to change both of those things, but right now, I don’t care enough to care at all.
Here’s hoping to the false start of a great race. I’m gonna get you, 2012.
Thanks for reading.
– Carrie’s Brother
