I don’t like how “Watching MY Show” is becoming an excuse. I’ve learned that I get easily irked by things that I don’t understand, and I don’t understand how someone can say that watching a tv show is more important than…anything else.
Person A – I thought ju said ju were going to hang out.
Person B – I was and then…something came up so I couldn’t.
Person A – …julyer.
Person B – Ok, I had to get home to watch “The Walking Dead” the same time as everyone else. And by everyone else I mean people who are not that important to me, but share the same interest as something that I’m infatuated with.
Person A – …
Person B – You don’t understand. In an hour, my (insert Social Media here) feed is going to blow up with some ambiguous reference about something that happened and I need to be in on that ambiguous reference! If I don’t watch this, I’m literally going to die. Do you expect me to miss it, or like…watch it later? Why would I do that?
Person A – So we can hang out.
Person B – No, that doesn’t make sense. I see you sometimes and you can come back. Tonight…someone might not.
(annnnndddd scene)
I don’t like it when people use the word “literally” in place of “figuratively.”
Person A – That puppy is so cute, I’m literally going to die.
Person B – Uh…I think you mean figuratively. You’re figuratively going die.
Person A – No I know what I mean. If that puppy even comes close to me, I’m LIT-trally going keel over and you’re going to have to pay for my funeral.
Person B – …julyer.
Alright, that’s enough negativitely. Let’s move on to something more important.
July 4th is right around the corner. According to Wikipedia, there are only 180 days left in the year. We’re a little over halfway through th year, which seems pretty incredible. There is a lot of history on this date, including NASA’s Pathfinder landing on the moon (1997), Lou Gehrig’s retirement speech (1939), and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (1865). It’s also the day that France offered us the Statue of Liberty (1886), and the first 50-star flag was debuted in Philadelphia (1960). There are a ton of other important milestones here, but I guess the most important is the day that we Congress signed our Declaration of Independence. I don’t think it meant a lot to me before, but the more I think about it, the more important it becomes to me.
Fair warning here…it’s about to turn into a history lesson, so none of the links you can click on will be anything other than supporting documents.
The individual who first recommended our independence from Great Britain to Congress was a man named
Everyone was actually all hopped up on independence thanks to a little 48-page pamphlet called Common Sense written by Anonymous (aka Thomas Paine). He wrote it earlier that year, and people shit their pants for it. This was “The Walking Dead” back in 1776. It was the most sold and distributed book in American History at one point, and was read aloud in taverns. Can you imagine that? The recent USA vs Portugal World Cup game had 18.22 million viewers. Could you imagine in the middle of a bar, instead of the World Cup, someone was reciting a freakin pamphlet that was stating why we should explore our independence? That’s pretty incredible.
Anyway, this guy’s pamphlet may have lit a fire under some people’s asses, and the next thing you know, Lee is suggesting we do something about it to Congress in June. John Adams (that’s our second president, btw) suggested that Ol’ Tommy Jeffs start working on the document (thanks a lot, “friend”),
JA: “Hey Tommy, you want to come over and work on that doc tonight?
TJ: “I guess. Bring over a couple of ales and we’ll see where we get. I wrote down the date. That’s pretty much it.”
About a month later, they knocked out our Declaration of Independence. After they were done and presented it to Congress, Adams wrote to his wifey and said the following:
The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.
Don’t worry about that “Second day” stuff. That’s when it was presented, but not everyone signed it until later. In 1777, we celebrated our 1 year anniversary with some gun shots. In 1791, we actually started using the term “Independence Day” for July 4th, and in 1870, Congress made it an unpaid holiday (changed to paid in 1938). Since then, everyone has been celebrating our freedom…from work…on July 3rd…at like 1pm…
This year, before you get super wasted, think about what it must have been like when Thomas Paine realized he was writing something more than just an article. Think about what it feels like to get fired up about something you’re passionate about, and that passion turns out to be the independence of all people.
Pretty incredible when you think about it. I think I started to appreciate how truly incredible that milestone was on July 4th, 1776.
O, you don’t?
…julyer.
Thanks for Reading.
– Patriotic In Taverns
