Not every fart needs to be addressed. It’s just fun to address every fart…
I used to be really good at text flirting. I used to have witty comments that could be easily interpreted, fully utilizing quotation marks, ellipses, and emoticons. I mean, I was emoticoning the hell out of people. Winky faces, hearts, smileys, etc. Then I realized I don’t do any of that stuff. I don’t think I’ve ever stuck my tongue out when I smiled after a joke. I’ve winked at people before, but only at inside jokes and to let people know I got the next drink. You know…classy behavior and not creepy at all. Ok, maybe a little creepy when I write it like that, but there’s no other way to explain it, so shut it.
Winky emoticons are pretty gender specific. If you’re a guy, I don’t think you can really get away with it as a guy without it being at least semi-creepy. For example…
Can’t wait to see you tonight 😉
Is that not creepy? To me, that’s creepy. Unless you’re a girl. Then by all means, wink away.
Take a look at this article real quick. Don’t read the whole thing, just college-read it. Aka, just look at the pictures and the prices. Shirts guys should own.
Is it just me, or is it ludicrous to pay $102 for a t-shirt? Some poor, little Cambodian boy was trapped inside a windowless warehouse and made that shirt along with 80 others just like it for a handful of rice, and you’re going to pay $102 for it just because it has the words “by Alexander Wang”? Who the is that and why are we making Al Wang so rich? That shirt is a “Sport Coat” designer t-shirt, meaning you’re supposed to wear a coat over it. So that basically means it’s $100 undershirt. And why are people buying $78 purple shirts? There’d better be $68 dollars in the breast pocket.
These 8 shirts will run you $435. Since I’m pretty much the antithesis of fashion, this seems outrageous to me. If fashion and art abide to the cliche “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” then why does it cost so much to see correctly?
There are times when you’re down on yourself, and you think things are absolutely terrible. The world and the people in it can not be any more cruel. And then you hear about a guy named Richard Face.
Speaking of faces, there was a naked man in Miami that was shot to death after he was found eating a man’s face. So…that happened…
Some people have said this is like the beginning of The Walking Dead. If a creepy, eerily pale guy at your school keeps looking at you weird, it doesn’t mean he’s a sparkly vampire named Edward. It means you should stay away from him. There’s a fine line between creepy and romantic, and Twilight crosses that line in the weirdest possible way under the guise of “but he’s totally different in the books…”
Steven Tyler once opened a song with the line, “I could stay awake, just to hear you breathing.” Little creepier without the orchestra in the background…
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing 😉
See…told you so.
Thanks for reading
– The Creep Wink
