I have an irrational fear of walking faster than a door sensor can function. I know it’s dumb, but I’m worried I’ll fully trust that little sensor and the one time it doesn’t see me, I end up mashing my face into the door. I have this thing where stuff like that always happens to me. Maybe it’s not irrational, but more of a learned condition. Not daunting pessimism. It’s like a cautious motto. “It probably won’t happen, but juuuussttt in case…”
I don’t understand why companies use celebrities as spokespeople. Doesn’t make sense to me. They’re horrible actors. I wonder if anyone has ever bought a Thermacare heat wrap because Shaq said it helps. Or if anyone uses Hydoxycut because Ronnie says it’s what made him so huge. Yea, Ronnie…you got that massive because of a supplement, not steroids at all. Everyone believes you…
How the hell did Ronnie get famous? It’s ridiculous to me that people with no talent can get famous. Seriously, what was Snooki doing with her life before she was on TV? Can someone pay ME a stupid amount of money to get drunk?
I keep telling myself I should be a better person. There’s so much more to me than what I allow myself to become. There-in lies the internal conflict. The drive to learn and to achieve is blocked by a barrier of self-loathing laziness. Inside my head I hear an angry coach trying to motivate me to read or write or learn or talk. But a part of me needs to watch this episode of Burn Notice and drink this beer. After all, I worked a lot today…
It’s so much easier to be lazy. The motivation involved in moving forward is two-fold: the hope of what is ahead and the fear of what is behind. No one wants to be stuck where they are. No one wants to be in the same place they were 5 years from now. People who know they have potential don’t WANT to improve; they NEED to. At my age (mid 20s), if you look at your life, and say, “I can see myself in the same place I am now,” I don’t see how you’d be happy.
Letting go of what I was sucks balls. But it’s time to shed this little lazy cocoon and turn into the magnificent little butterfly I should be.
Thanks for reading,
– The Evolving Door
