This might not be a law, but rather, a personal belief backed by observation and upbringing, but if a child can articulate their thoughts and feelings using complex sentence structures, they should be required to wear a bathing suit in a public pool. That’s like…Parenting 101: An Introduction to Decency. Get it together, neighbors…
This weekend, I went to the beach for 6 hours. For 3 of those hours, I was doing something athletic, which was a terrible decision. When you play a game with 5 competitive jocks, you end up with achy body parts and a sunburn.
Who am I kidding? As of Sunday, there were still millions of things wrong with the world. I was at the beach on a beautiful, sunny Sunday with friends for 6 hours, and I’m whining about getting a tan and exercise? The 9-year-old version of me would be confused about why I was being a little wiener. “You mean you got to drive down to the beach with a bunch of your friends to play in the water and eat fast food…just because you wanted to?” Yes, 9-year-old me. That’s what I did. And I briefly complained about it. I apologize.
Being 9 was so simple. The only responsibility I had was a few chores and making sure I got good grades. I didn’t have to worry about money, a career, peer pressure, rent, credit cards, love, impressions, etc. I’ve had recent epiphanies about all of these, but most recently, love. I’m pretty sure it was the sunstroke and a little bit of alcohol, but I remember thinking about love as a battle between your feelings and beliefs. And if you know me, then you know I will take a dumb little thought like that and literally snowball it into an elaborate 5-minute avalanche. Here is that avalanche…written half-drunk…after 2 hours of beach volleyball.
When it comes to the battle of love, your brain, which has been appointed the second-in-command, is pleading with you on behalf of the rest of the troops (your feelings, emotions, time, energy, and self-esteem) to surrender and head back to base camp in an attempt to collect yourself and start over again. But your heart, the captain of love, the core of everything good, and the overall facilitator of everything great in your life, turns to his troops and gives the speech.
(Queue dramatic music)
“Men…please…spare me your time and heed my words. I request that you follow me into another treacherous fight. I have led you through countless battles; many of which we have won, and a handful of which we have lost. We’ve been beaten, wounded, and downtrodden. However, we have also prevailed when the night was at its darkest. (Pan to “Self-Esteem”, who has a very stubborn look). Now, I can not say that this will be the last request I ever make of you. I have already asked so much…more than what should ever be asked of anyone for any one man. And while, at times, it may seem like I don’t have everything pieced together, I promise it was all done with the best intentions, working towards the ultimate victory: Love. (Pan to “Energy”, who is nodding his head). The casualties were something to be expected, but I have been sure to mitigate the damage as best as possible to spare our losses. And now, we have all been affected by what we’ve been through. We are changed men. But we have been changed for the better. Once again, I ask you to sacrifice yourself. Once again, I ask you to put your livelihood on the line for the greater good. Once again, I ask you to accompany me into a vicious battle, putting all our efforts into a goal that has yet to be reached, but one that could not be any closer. I have seen the finish line, men! It is just beyond the horizon! (Pan to “Feelings”, who is now smiling). But I can not get there on my own. No…I need you. I need each and every one of you to help fight. To fight for happiness. To fight for love. To fight for a reason to never have to fight again. I could not have reached this far by myself and I won’t go any farther without you. Help me, men…Help me reach that finish line.”
That’s when Courage is like,”…Fine…let’s ask her out one more time.”
Thanks for reading.
– Brave Heart