There are some things in life that are extremely difficult to deal with. One of those things is a girl talking about their appearance.
“I wish I had the body to pull of that dress.”
Every guy just got a little uncomfortable reading that sentence. That’s a lesson you have to learn the hard way. And there’s really no way around it; you have to go through it. All guys have to deal with puberty and at least one question like that. That’s a fact. It causes that reaction because you know there’s only one decent outcome and SOOOO many bad ones.
It’s like a shot of tequila. It could go well, but deep inside, you still remember that time when it really didn’t, and the repercussions you had to deal with the next day scarred you for life. That’s the kind of statement that makes guys crack that awkward half smile and give out a little “…heh…” The best thing you can do there is just fart. Just let one go. Your only other options are to roll the dice with a response, run away, or just die. In this situation, farting is strangely the easiest option.
“How do I look in this?”
ABORT. Get out. DEFCON…whatever the highest DEFCON is. It’s a trap. Admiral Ackbar is looking you straight in the eye (kinda? Or maybe just through one eye? I don’t know his eyes are all wonky like some amphibian I’m not sure if he could look at you straight on and see you) and telling you to just fart.
This is useful to know – DEFCON means “defense readiness condition” and describes the readiness of the Military. 1 is the highest number. So if you ever say DEFCON 5, you really mean it’s not a threat.
Perfect segue into more relevant things. I used to use a little word play here and post a picture of Justin Bieber riding a segway, but since we’re way past that, I’ll just post a picture of him riding a hoverboard.
Take us there, Biebs.
Every 4 years, everyone gets extremely vocal about what they personally believe in. I mean the US presidential election, not the Olympics or Leap Year. The great thing about social media is that it gives people a platform to voice their thoughts, views, and opinions. The bad thing about social media is that it gives people a platform to voice their thoughts, views, and opinions. But all of the posts and replies got me thinking a lot about how people argue and why (which turns out, will be another post because I wrote about that before I wrote this, but logically, it made sense to lead with this post). Then it hit me.
When does a discussion become an argument?
I first googled argument, and what I discovered was that I personally viewed an “Argument” as an activity, not necessarily an approach. And what I mean is that I equated “arguing” more to fighting, when an Argument is essentially just a statement to persuade someone that the point you made is valid.
For instance, there is a big difference between saying “I presented my arguments” and saying “we got into a huge argument.” I associated the word “Argument” with the latter phrase. I could see how the term “arguing” could be used to convey that both sides were presenting points using persuasive statements. But when I think of arguing, I think of neighbors yelling at each other with their window accidentally open. Like you just turned the TV down a little bit to hear what is going on and you’re pretty sure someone cheated on someone or stole something maybe? Who knows, but that is NOT going well.
Wel,l now that “Argument” was clarified, can you have a “Discussion” and just be presenting “Arguments?” Is it possible to have a discussion and just present your side of an argument with no one getting emotional? I guess it is, but when it does get emotional, things change. I learned that a “Discussion” was actually a activity that occurred during a “Conversation” where you share opinions on a subject that could potentially turn into a dispute, which redirects to “Controversy.”
That’s when I realized that my perception of an “Argument” was “Disagreement + Emotion.” So now, the entry point of controversy is directly tied to the amount of emotion we had about a subject (a core belief that defines us), or the challenge we feel to provide an argument about the subject regardless of how committed we are to that subject (“what are you, an idiot?”). The second point is where a lot of “controversy” begins. Google to the rescue/aid?
People value being understood more highly than being agreed with. We can typically tolerate people not agreeing with us, but if we feel misunderstood we will likely continue the conversation in an attempt to clarify our intent.
I clicked across this article about Nominalists and Essentialists, and it sent me down a 30 minute rabbit hole of frustration of “why did we go to school if we can’t piece together this concept” and some disagreement on terms. But I agreed with the overall message:
The definitions of/within an argument are subjective.
The problem is that the definition of a discussion/conversation and an argument/fight are solely defined by the individuals within that discussion/controversy. I could be getting really heated about something and say that I don’t want to fight, and have that person say “we’re just having a conversation, relax!” The best thing to do in that instance is come to an agreement on definitions that are being used by both parties.
Well that was a maze. Thanks for reading if you go this far.
– The Fart Controversy