Fashion Police

I apologize if it’s crass or crude
But no explanation is silly and rude!
I feel much better cuz all that food
Just came out after I poo’d

On Easter, I took a #2 and right when I came out, a family member was leaving, but told me congratulations before she was out the door.  Just as I was about to start laughing for congratulating me like a 5 year old taking his first dump, she said, “you’ll have your Master’s degree soon and be done with school.”  Oopsy poopsy…

Have you ever heard the phrase “her bathing suit was so far up her crack that it looked like her butt was hungry”? Two weeks ago I saw a girl who’s butt was starving.

“The top of yo bootys gigglin outcho jeans,
baby pull yo pants up”. Thanks Luda.

I’m typically pretty good with grammar but “who” usually pulls a fast one over me. Who and whom. Who’s and whose. He’s a tricky little pronoun.

I think fashion is so weird. Maybe because I’m not really into it. I own 3 pairs of jeans and two of them don’t fit well. I guess I just don’t see the point in spending so much money to make myself look a certain way. I’d rather spend that money on something else. Like food or fun. Fashion is the last “f” on my monetary list of concerns. But as the saying goes: different strolks for different folks.

Fashion is a great way to hide who u really are. It can turn a 6 into an 8 on the likert scale of hotness. Especially for girls. You apply a layer of make up, have your hair did right and tack on some huge, fashionable sunnys, and next thing you know, all guys can see are your lips and their reflection. It plays into everyone’s curious side. “Is she cute or not”? “I just wish she’d take off those half-face sunglasses and left me take in the full picture”. Sometimes people like what they see and sometimes people look better with sunglasses.

I don’t care what anyone says. You have to have some sort of physical attraction before you start liking someone. Whether its their face or body; whether its a cutie or a hottie. You still have to be somewhat physically attracted to that person. You can’t have a camp fire without logs. You could find someone with the best personality ever, but I don’t know if it’ll ever work if there’s no physical attraction. Maybe that’s just me being a Shallow Hal…

So I guess looking good is important. Just not $300-designer-bag important. But looking good and feeling good should go hand in hand. If u wanna start a fire, make sure you bring your flame, guuuurrrrlllll.

“When there is love in the home, there is joy in the heart.”  I saw this during Easter on a magnet at my grand aunts place.  Very appropriate.

Thanks for reading.

– The Hungry Hungry Hippo


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